Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Apocalypse of Fletcher, ch. 3

The Oracle given to Pioneer Courthouse Square:

Hear the word of the LORD, oh Portland! George W. Bush and the Republicans are working against you! Your president has marched into Congress and declared, “I’m in charge now!” The courts are now controlled by him as well. It is only a matter of time until the Republican agenda is completed.

Have you noticed that George Bush hasn’t created one single job in his time as president? Not one single job! The Republicans are trying to make it as difficult as possible for the middle class to have work in America.

The jobs that George Bush has created are simple gas station jobs. Have you ever seen George Bush inside a 7-11? No? That’s right. He is completely separated from the people of America.

Indeed, it is the desire of Republicans to ship out the entire middle class. The Republicans have allowed 10,000,000 Mexicans to cross the border so far, firing border patrol guards who prevent them from crossing. The Republicans plan to use these Mexicans as a newly instated slavery system, to renew the old system that those progressives did away with all those years ago.
A voice called from the crowd, “What are you talking about?!” He then emerged; it was Father O’Reilly from the Catholic Church in NW Portland. “Nothing you say is true: the Republican Party desires no such thing. And how can he have made no jobs and made gas station jobs at the same time?”

“Quiet, mortal,” Fletcher replied. “How dare you interrupt my divine message?!” “Your message is anything but divine: what support do you have for that of which you speak?” “You should know”, Fletcher responded, “that this is no later than my twenty-second life; that is to say that I should have died that many times now by.

“You, Father O’Reilly, you are a priest!” Fletcher continued. “Do you not know that I have the power, power straight from God, to make priests and even bishops quiver in fear?! God has passed his judgment on you because you do not follow Him!”

“What do you mean,” Father O’Reilly replied, “that I do not follow God?” Fletcher informed him, “You are damned to hell, damned I say! You do not follow even the most important laws, ‘Thou shall not judge’. You have forgotten the laws ‘Love thy neighbor’ and ‘Love thy stranger’. You of the Catholic faith are all doomed to hell because you deny that Jesus is the Son of God.”

“What?! That is the most basic tenet of our faith”, said Father O’Reilly. “Then tell me this”, Fletcher demanded. “Tell me the passage where Jesus says, “I am not perfect.” “He never said that”, a very confused Father O’Reilly said. “I mean, He was perfect”. “Of course He was perfect,” Fletcher impatiently conceded, “he only said this to see what other people would say.” “But if that’s so,” Father O’Reilly pieced together, “then He lied, and would therefore be imperfect.” “Ah, but if that is so,” Fletcher said with a smile, “then He would have been telling the truth.”

No one dared ask Fletcher another question, for they were amazed at his teaching.

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